


Letters from NYU

by youknowtherestbyheart



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, John Ambrose Deserved Better, Lara Jean Using Letters Instead of Therapy, Lara Jean and Peter stay broken up, POV First Person, POV Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey (former), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29416950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youknowtherestbyheart/pseuds/youknowtherestbyheart
Summary: Lara Jean moves to NYU thinking she was over Peter, but starting this new chapter of her life reopens Lara Jean's healing wound. Can Lara Jean finally move on with the help of her friends Gen, Lucas, and Chris in the city that is the backdrop to the romcoms of her dreams? And will a face from her past showing up again allow Lara Jean to have a second chance at past decisions, or is she destined to never have another romance of her own?
Relationships: Chris & Lucas Krapf & Lara Jean Song-Covey, Genevieve "Gen" & Lara Jean Song-Covey, John Ambrose McClaren/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Katherine "Kitty" Song-Covey & Lara Jean Song-Covey & Margot Song-Covey
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	1. Always and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first ever fic so I am very nervous and very sorry for any mistakes. I just watched Always and Forever, Lara Jean and I just had to fix it (sorry Lara Jean/Peter shippers) so this is my take on what should have happened and what would have happened next. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean moves to NYC and has the shopping montage of our dreams with Gen.

_Dear Peter,_

_I know you will never read this letter, but I think that I need to write it to you anyways. It has been months since we have broken up and I thought I was finally getting better, but moving away to New York has reopened the wound. I pictured us going to Stanford together for so long that even though I know NYU is where I’m meant to be, it feels all wrong to be at college without you and I don’t know if that makes me angry or sad._

_I spent so long trying to get over you. Margot and Kitty spent their summer taking me on every adventure they could think of to try to brighten my mood and eventually I thought it was really working. Now here I am on the biggest adventure of my life so far, alone and longing to be standing next to you with your hand in my back pocket. I wish you were here helping me carry all my stuff to my room, I wish you were here so I could drag you to vintage stores for decorations, I wish you were here to be with me and love me like you used to._

_Margot says I shouldn’t worry, that college is a new chapter in my life and it will help me meet new people and move on. She said that once I was finally away from all of our memories back home it would be easier for me to not think about you, but she was wrong. I’m not away from our memories, every time I turn a corner I remember one of the pictures you sent me on our Senior trip, or I pass the cupcake shop we snuck out to together, or I see the back of a man that looks just like you, and for a moment it’s like you’re right here, and then I remember you’re not._

_Peter Kavinsky, I don’t know if I will ever be able to stop loving you. Ever since that first kiss in seventh grade you have held a piece of my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever get it back. Even though I might never truly get over you Peter, this has to be goodbye for me, I have to take the next step in my life and try my best to leave you behind._

_Always and Forever,_

_Laura Jean Song-Covey_

**********

Just then I hear a knock at my door followed by someone calling out “Lara Jean?”

Quickly wiping the tears from my face and hoping I look halfway presentable I open the door to find Gen. “Lara Jean! Oh no, what’s wrong, you look like you’ve been crying.” 

Looking over in the mirror near my door I see that I did not do as good of a job as I had hoped and my blotchy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes are a dead give away to the fact I had just been having a good cry.

“Oh, just a little homesick already I guess. It’s weird to be here away from my family in this very sad and empty room” I say opening the door a little more to allow Gen into my room that, compared to the bright, colorful, and cluttered room at home looks dreary and drab.

“My room looks about the same,” Gen sighed “but this is perfect! I know the perfect way to brighten up your room and get your mind off of home. We’re going shopping!” she exclaims with a big smile on her face that I can’t help but return.

“You know what, that’s a great idea. I had planned to search around local shops to decorate since I could only bring so much on the plane. Just let me make myself look a little bit more presentable and we can head out.”

*********

Shopping with Gen was exactly what I needed.

We probably went to every vintage shop within a three mile radius of our dorms with a few stops at some small businesses as well. All I can think is thank goodness I was able to get a single room as a freshman because with all the stuff I have bought today my room is going to be a lot more full.

“Lara Jean, let's make a quick stop at this bakery before we go back to our rooms, we need some sugar to fuel up before we get back and decorate” Gen declared.

Looking up I feel my heart stop for a second. Of course the bakery Gen picked was the one that Peter and I had gone to together on the Senior trip last spring. I hesitated a moment too long because Gen turned back to me urging me to join her walking in the door.

“What’s up Lara Jean? You looked spooked for a second out there.” Gen asked.

“Oh it’s nothing, this is just somewhere Peter and I went when we were here.” I whispered looking down at my shoes to avoid the pitying look I knew she would give me. It was the same look I got from people anytime I brought up Peter.

What I didn’t expect was for Gen to throw one of her arms around my shoulder and pull me close declaring “Well then we’re going to have to make some better memories here now, won’t we? This is going to be our place now and we’re going to come here until we have enough good memories to wash any trace of Peter out of here.” And with that she marched up to the counter ordering more baked goods than we could even try to eat in one sitting.

*********  
I hear my phone buzz on my desk as I look around at my newly-decorated room. There is still work to do, but the walls are a little more full and the space is a little more colorful so I am feeling a little closer to home and a lot happier than I had been earlier this afternoon.

Checking my texts I see a check-in message from my dad to which I respond with a few pictures of my improved room, a message from Margot making sure I was doing okay and a request for me to Facetime her tomorrow in the late afternoon so she could talk to me before she went to bed. I also have a text from Lucas, already planning his first weekend trip to the city.

I know Lucas had joked that he would come visit me in the city every weekend, but I didn’t expect him to actually follow through. I can’t lie though, I am happy he wants to come, maybe Gen can come out with us and we can all take on the city together for our first weekend here. I text him back, sitting on my bed and grabbing a cookie from my stash of extra baked goods from earlier, feeling content by myself for the first time since I arrived in the city this morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my first chapter! Next chapter is soon to come. Also, I'm not sure how long this is going to be yet, I am kind of figuring it out as I go...


	2. Your Nearest and Dearest Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean's first week in the city! Including a little bit of Lucas and a lot of Lara Jean/Gen bonding (I just want them to be friends, okay?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter in one day! I just rewatched all the movies with my friends today and I really don't enjoy Peter Kavinsky, sorry.

_Dear Chris,_

_Hello from NYU!_

_Now that I have been here for a week I think my dorm room is cluttered enough for it to start to feel like home. Classes start tomorrow and I’m excited, but so nervous at the same time. I cannot wait to start my classes, but I’m worried about making friends and fitting in here in New York, everything is so different. Luckily I am not completely alone, Gen and I have already been spending a lot of time together. It is really nice to have a piece of home here with me and I am glad that Gen and I were able to figure everything out before moving here._

_Lucas has already kept his promise to visit me every weekend. He has been here for the last two days which has also helped ease some of my nerves, especially because he insisted us and Gen go out and party to “start our college careers off right”. Oh by the way, Lucas wants to tell you that he says hello as well and is “living it up ready to take on the city one man at a time”, his words not mine. That party we went to on our Senior trip was definitely a common occurrence around here so I can’t wait until you can come visit and go out with all of us!_

_I hope things in Costa Rica are going well, you have to tell me everything! I know you must be loving it there, but I selfishly hope that you are missing me a little bit too. I cannot wait to hear all of your stories when you come back in a few months, I just know they are going to be crazy. Also, I know you said that you and Trevor were just a fling and that you don’t care that it’s over, but you know I am always here for you if you need me._

_Be sure to send me plenty of postcards and I will send you more letters! I know you probably think this is lame and not necessary because we have texting and facetime, but I think that writing letters can be fun too. Plus, now we can have physical momentos to commemorate this new and exciting chapter of our lives. Counting down the days until you come visit me here, but hoping you enjoy your trip!_

_Your Nearest and Dearest Friend,_

_LJ_

*********

“Are you finished yet? I want you to walk with me to the train station LJ.” Lucas groans from his position sprawled across my bed on his back.

“Lucas, you better stop complaining or I’m going to cross out your message to Chris” I respond not being able to cover the giggle at my friend’s endless grumbles, claiming that I still give more of my attention to Chris even when she’s in another country.

“You really put that in LJ? You’re the best and I love you, you know that right?” Lucas says finally getting up off my bed to come over to my desk and wrap his arms around my shoulders from behind me. 

“Of course I know that Lucas, I love you too and you have a letter to prove it. Now just let me put this in the envelope and seal it up so I can drop it off at the post office on my way back here and then we can leave.” I tell him, folding the letter and gently sliding it into the envelope that I had already taken the time to address and decorate.

**********

“See you next weekend LJ! Tell me about all your classes! And if there are any cute boys… definitely tell me if there are any cute boys!” Lucas yells to me as he’s getting onto the train to get back to Sarah Lawrence.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated” I yell back through laughs as I wave goodbye and the train doors shut.

Alone again, but definitely better. Earlier this week I could feel the sadness pressing in as soon as I was by myself, but after this past week with Gen and Lucas I’m feeling lighter, like the darkness can’t press in so hard anymore. 

**********

As I walk back to my dorm after dropping my letter to Chris off at the post office I pass Little Cupcake Bakeshop. Do I go in or do I walk past? 

I should go in, then I can bring treats to Gen and hang out with her before classes start, maybe we can watch a movie and do facemasks, a proper girls night to kick off the semester. I close my eyes for a second reminding myself that I can do this and that just because Peter and I came here once doesn’t mean that this place is his as I step into the sweet smell of the bakery.

*********

“Genevieve, I brought you treats and facemasks!” I sing knocking on the door to Gen’s room that almost immediately swings open.

“LJ, you are seriously the best. I hope you are ready for a hardcore girls night to start off our year” Gen laughs pulling me in.

“Since when do you call me LJ, Genny? And I am always prepared for a girls night, you know that baked goods, skincare, and romcoms are my forte” I say plopping myself on Gen’s pink couch, an ode to our first adventure at NYU.

“Since when do you call me Genny, LJ? Besides, Lucas and Chris call you LJ and I thought now that we’re friends again it would be okay if I did too…” Gen trails off.

“Of course you can call me LJ” I quickly assure. Even though Gen and I didn’t always get along in high school we have really rekindled our friendship since committing to NYU. Besides, neither of us had Peter anymore and he was really the biggest thing that had come between us as friends. Of course Gen did say and do some pretty mean stuff back in high school, but she’s apologized for everything a million times over and honestly, I get it, sometimes you become someone you don’t want to be and it can be hard to escape that person.

*********

“Lara Jean?”

“Hmmm?” I respond, turning away from “You’ve Got Mail” to face Gen.

“I know we haven’t really talked about it much because it didn’t seem like you wanted to, but are you okay? I know that breakups can be tough and when we went to the bakery earlier this week it seemed like you were still hurting. I just want you to know that I’m here for you to talk to, to be your shoulder to cry on, whatever you need. Us Oregon girls have to have each other's backs here in the big city, right?” 

Tears spring to my eyes at Gen’s speech and I scooch closer to her so I can wrap my arms around her middle and tuck my head against her shoulder. “You have no idea how much that means to me Gen. I just spent so long imagining that I would be with Peter right now. I mean, not here in New York obviously, but here at college, you know? Just a few months ago I really thought that he would be helping me move in and we would be exploring campus together, but now I’m here. I know I am meant to be here, I can feel it, that’s why I came to NYU, but I can’t help but be a little sad and think about what could have been.” I respond trying my hardest to not let the tears spill out of my eyes as Gen pulls me closer.

“Oh LJ, I know it must be hard. I used to imagine the same thing, but I’ve had a whole year to move on and plan a new future for myself. Just know that I am always here when you need to talk about stuff like this and I know you’re going to be okay. I mean, look at you! You moved to New York City all by yourself, already have what is probably one of the cutest rooms on campus, and spent the weekend living it up with two of your friends who love you so much. Whether you meant to or not, you’re already taking the city by storm and I know you’re going to kill it once we start classes tomorrow too.”

“Thanks Genny. Now back to the movie, this is the best part!” I say turning back to look at the screen as Gen chuckles at me.

*********

That night when I go to bed I can feel the excitement for the next day thrumming through my veins and for the first time in months I fall asleep able to see a future that doesn’t include a certain boy in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I promise John Ambrose is coming soon, but Lara Jean needs her friends first and she needs a little more time to get over Peter. Anyways, hopefully a new chapter will come in the next day or two.


	3. Your Favorite Middle Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter! If you couldn't tell already I love female friendships.... enjoy!

_Dear Margot,_

_My first week of classes has been amazing!_

_I know you’re probably thinking “I told you so” right about now, but I don’t want to hear it. Everything is better than I could have imagined. My professors have all been so nice, my classmates are so welcoming and full of different perspectives, I get to walk through the city every day, and I come back to my own little room with Gen right down the hall._

_I have even started making new friends already. The girl who sits next to me in my Reading as a Writer class, Carrie, swapped numbers with me on our first day and we are joining a Thursday night study group with some of the other people in the class. Some of the people on my floor of the dorm seem really cool too, like Gen’s neighbor Julie who put up a picture from Sleepless in Seattle on her door as part of her “about me” collage that we all did. Gen and I immediately knocked on her door to invite her to our next girls night because anyone who likes Sleepless in Seattle enough to put it in a collage about themselves is a friend to me._

_As great as things are here, I do miss you, Dad, and Kitty so much. I know it’s good for me to spread my wings and become independent, but I can’t help but miss dad’s awful cooking and Kitty barging into my room even when I tell her to leave me alone (don’t tell her I said that though)._

_I hope Scotland is as wonderful as ever, I’m sure you are still having the time of your life. Maybe before you graduate I can spend a semester abroad somewhere in Europe and we can travel together, that would be fun, wouldn’t it? Anyways, I love you so much, write me back soon (and facetime me)._

_Your Favorite Middle Sister,_

_Lara Jean_

*********

As I am sealing my letter to Margot with my fancy new wax seal supplies I bought after vowing to write more letters in college I hear my phone vibrating on my bed. Looking at the clock on my wall I realize that it must be Carrie telling me she’s waiting for me to go to our first study group together. Sticking my letter in my bag and grabbing my room keys I am off to my new friend, filled with nerves.

Even though Carrie has been super nice in class, we have never actually seen each other outside of class… What if she doesn’t really like me once she gets to know me? What if she thinks that I’m lame or talk too much? What if my classmates kick me out of the study group? What if…

“Hey Lara Jean!” Carrie interrupts my mental spiral, “are you ready to get your study on?” She giggles and winks at me.

I can’t help but smile back as we make our way towards the library, which is absolutely amazing by the way.

“So, how has your first week of college been so far?” Carrie asks.

“Honestly, when I first got here I was really worried, but so far it’s been great. The city is always so exciting and everyone is so nice. I mean, I don’t know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn’t expecting the girl next to me in my first class to start making conversation as soon as we sat down and exchange phone numbers as soon as she knew my name”

“What can I say?” she responds, “I’m a nervous talker. I’m just lucky that I sat next to someone like you who would take my babbling as kindness instead of thinking I’m weird”

“Believe me, you were exactly what I needed that first day” I say, bumping my shoulder with Carrie’s.

“You know Lara Jean, I know we don’t really know each other yet, but I have a feeling that we’re going to be really good friends. Now let’s go read until our brains rot!” Carrie exclaims dragging me through the doors to the library.

*********

“We’re still on for movie night tonight, right LJ?” Gen asks as we brush our teeth next to each other in the girls bathroom for our floor.

“Of course, and you invited Julie, right?” Gen nods back, mouth full of toothpaste. “Oh, is it okay if I invite a new friend too? She sits next to me in one of my classes and she’s super sweet and a major Shakespeare nut, I think she would be a good addition” I add.

“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, how do you think Chris and I managed to almost get along this summer? I’m excited to meet her.” Gen responds.

“Great! Meet you at the bakery after class?”

“You know it LJ”

*********

There is a knock on the door as Gen and I are finishing laying out all the snacks, facemasks, and nail polish for tonight. Gen opens the door to Julie whose face practically lights up as she walks in the room.

“Wow, when you two said girls night you really meant it. This is awesome, next time I’ll have to upgrade to my matching pajamas” Julie says looking down at her oversized NYU shirt and flannel pajama pants.

“What can we say, when we do a girls night, we do it right” Gen says leading Julie over to the couch.

“And don’t even worry about your pajamas” I add, “the point of girls night is to just be yourself and spend some quality time with girlfriends, you don’t need to look a certain way.”

Just then there is another knock at the door and I jump up to get it. Carrie walks in and her jaw drops when she looks at Julie.

“Julie! Oh my gosh! You’re friends with Lara Jean too? This is crazy” Carrie exclaims running over to Julie and giving her a hug.

“You two know each other already?” I ask, watching what looks like a reunion that has been a long time coming.

“This is great! Oh, um, Carrie and I have known each other for a while, but we haven’t seen each other in a couple years...” Julie starts until Carrie continues her thought, “Julie and I went to summer camp together for years. It was the performing arts camp where I first started performing Shakespeare and Julie was in the musical theatre program, but we were cabinmates.”

The girls catch up for a few minutes as Gen and I start trying to pick a movie, eavesdropping a little, if only to get to know our new friends a little bit better.

*********

Once we finish our third movie of the night none of us want to get up and go back to our dorms so we all find spots to sleep across the room. Me on the pink couch, Gen in her bed, Carrie on the oversized chair in the corner, and Julie in a cocoon of blankets on the floor.

“I’m not tired yet, can we keep talking until we fall asleep?” Julie asks.

We all agree and start sharing stories of our first week and eventually we transition to stories of our families and friends back home. Carrie and Julie already feel like they have been friends with Gen and I forever and with every story we share I can feel the four of us growing closer, but then Julie brings up Luke.

“I miss my band a ton, but more than anyone I miss my boyfriend Luke. He’s at school in Boston and loving it, but sometimes it’s tough being so far apart. Do any of you have a partner?” Julie so innocently asks. 

I feel my heart drop to my feet and I bite my lip willing myself not to cry. I can feel Gen looking at me worried to see my reaction.

“Nope, I am single and not actively looking for anything, but if you know a cute girl you can definitely introduce me” Carrie giggles.

I swallow and manage to croak out “No, I had a boyfriend and I thought we were going to go to college together, but here I am across the country and alone”

“You’re not alone LJ, you know that. I’m here for you, we’re all here for you” Gen says getting up to wrap me in a hug.

“Yeah, Lara Jean, you may be single, but you won’t be alone if we have anything to say about it” Carrie says joining the hug.

Julie also stands up and throws her arms around us whispering “I’m sorry I brought it up Lara Jean, I had no idea. I’ll keep my lips sealed about Luke from now on.”

“No please don’t Julie!” I let out quickly, “you don’t have to not talk about someone you obviously love so much. I really thought I would be over Peter by now, but sometimes it’s still tough. I won’t get any better by avoiding all things relationship related though.”

We lay tangled up together a little longer, the girls not letting go until they are positive that I am okay. I fall asleep with a smile on my face, thankful to have such supportive and loving friends and knowing that with their help I will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any Julie and the Phantoms fans, yes Julie and Carrie are named after and roughly based on Julie Molina and Carrie Wilson, but this is definitely not a crossover fic (I'm just bad at thinking of names and was struck with inspiration). Anyways, sorry no Jonny boy yet, but LJ still has some growing to do. Thanks for reading!


	4. Sending You My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter! More friends being friends and a big emotional step for LJ (also yes, Gen is bi, I don't make the rules)

_Dear Dad,_

_I am officially two weeks into my college career and I am loving it. I miss you, Kitty, and Tree so much, but NYU is better than words could ever describe. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with Gen and I would say we are officially best friends again, I don’t know how I would have been able to do this all without her. We also met two other girls, Carrie and Julie, and it already feels like I’ve known them for years._

_My classes are all going really well so far (not to jinx it because we are only on week two) and I enjoy them a lot, especially my writing classes. Some of my bigger lectures are tough because it’s mostly just the professor talking at us, but luckily most of those classes have discussion sections with a smaller group one day a week and for the ones that don’t I joined study groups._

_The city is everything I dreamed it would be, bustling with people from every walk of life. Gen and I have already found some spots that feel like ours, like the bakery we visit every Friday and the bench at the park where we drink coffee on the mornings we don’t have classes. Oh, and I have the library! The library is magical, every time I step in I still have to take a second just to take it all in even though I’ve probably gone every day for the past two weeks._

_I hope everything is going well at home and that Kitty hasn’t gone crazy (or driven you and Trina crazy). You’re going to have to keep a list of all the crazy plans Kitty tries while I’m away so I can be updated when I come home. Know that I am really enjoying my time here, but I cannot wait to come home and see you all again for Thanksgiving._

_Sending You My Love,_

_Lara Jean_

*********

After finishing my letter I curl up on the oversized chair in my reading corner, ready to get in at least an hour of romance novel reading before Lucas shows up for his weekly Saturday visit. Unfortunately as soon as I open the cover there is a knock on my door followed by a very familiar voice saying “LJ, your weekend savior has arrived!”

I open the door to Lucas, letting him walk in and drop his bags in the center of my room which he immediately follows by flopping on my bed. “Please Lucas, come in, it’s great to see you” I say sarcastically as I close the door. “Weren’t you not supposed to be here for another hour or so, or did I miss something?” I ask.

“Well, lucky for you Miss Laura Jean, I actually jumped on an early train with one of my friends so now you get to spend some extra time with me. Speaking of, I am starving, can we go grab some lunch?” Lucas asks standing and looking through his stuff for his bag.

“Sure, I was going to wait to get lunch until you got here anyways, and you’re here now so let’s go. I have the perfect place in mind,” I say grabbing my bag and keys.

“Soooo tell me about this friend of yours” I pry, locking my door on our way out.

*********

“LJ, we’re on week three and you have officially found your going out look! I mean, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you look better” Lucas praises me as I spin around to give him and Gen a full 360 of my outfit for the night.

“Damn LJ, if I didn’t already know I wasn’t straight I would certainly know now” Gen jokes, grabbing her bag for the night. “Now let’s go party!” she says grabbing Lucas and I, pulling us out the door.

*********

Once we reach our destination, a party a few blocks from campus, we all start searching for Carrie and Julie who should be meeting us here. I spot them by the makeshift dance floor and grab Gen and Lucas, dragging them with me over to the other girls.

“Hey guys! Who’s ready for the best night ever?” says Carrie throwing her arm over Gen’s shoulder, clearly already at least two drinks in.

“Carrie you say that every weekend” Julie shakes her head at our friend.

“And it’s true every weekend, it just keeps getting better!” Carrie says as she takes Gen and Lucas’s hands, dragging them to the dance floor with her.

“Do you want to grab a drink?” Julie asks. I nod my head and link my arm with hers as we make our way over to the bar.

*********

Our night is finally coming to a close. I love going out with my friends, but there does come a point in the night where all a girl wants is the comfort of her bed and that’s where I am mentally right about now. Lucas and I are standing at the bar waiting for the girls to come back from the bathroom. Well, I am waiting, Lucas is talking to some guy I’ve never seen before, I think I heard something about a party next weekend? I can’t really hear them over the music, but I am trying to make out what they’re saying anyways. What can I say, I want to know if there’s any flirting going on.

I feel someone’s shoulder bump against mine and turn to see a man I don’t know smirking at me.

“So who are you eavesdropping on? Boyfriend, friend, crush?” he chuckles.

“Oh, I’m not really eavesdropping, just trying to see if my friend is flirting with the guy he’s talking to. I have suspicions about a “friend” from his school, but I’m not sure” I respond.

“That sounds like the definition of eavesdropping to me, but you do you whatever your name is” 

“Oh, it’s Lara Jean. It’s nice to meet you…” I prompt him to share his name, sticking my hand out to shake his.

He shakes my hand, laughing, “It’s Kyle, and it’s nice to meet you too Lara Jean. Now, can I get you a drink?”

“Thank you, but I’m all set. I’m just waiting for my friends so we can head out,” I start until I see the girls making their way over to us, “and here they come now!”

“That’s too bad, I was looking forward to getting to know you. Maybe we can see each other some other time, here’s my number” Kyle says, writing out his number on a napkin and handing it to me.

“Yeah, that sounds great. See you around!” I call back, already turning to grab Lucas and leave.

*********

As soon as we get out of the noisy party the girls practically jump on me.

“Lara Jean! Who was that guy?”

“LJ, were you flirting? I can’t believe you got someone’s number and I didn’t!”

“He was cute, what’s his name”

“Hold on, give a girl a chance to speak” I start, laughing at their questions. “That was just a random guy who happened to talk to me, we were not flirting, and his name is Kyle”

“Now you hold on LJ, I might have been otherwise occupied, but even I noticed you were obviously flirting” Lucas immediately interjects.

“I was not!” I argue, “I was just being nice, I barely even talked to him.”

“But you got his number? Lara Jean, you might not have known you were flirting, but you definitely were” Carrie says as the other three nod in agreement.

“Okay, well even if we were flirting I didn’t mean anything by it and nothing is going to come of it…”

“LJ, you deserve to get over Peter,” Gen starts, stopping me in my tracks.

“Wait, who said anything about Peter? I honestly wasn’t even thinking about him. I was just thinking about how much I have going on with school and how much fun I am having spending time with all of you. I don’t think I want to be in a relationship right now.” I confess. I didn’t even realize that was how I felt until the words came out of my mouth, but it’s true.

The air is knocked out of me as all my friends tackle me in a big group hug and I don’t know if I have ever felt happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I was a little stuck on this chapter (hence the two day wait), but I like where it went. I know I say it every chapter so I won't say it this time (but John should be here soon...). Thanks for reading! Next chapter should be up soon!


	5. A Little Lost and Missing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been days and I'm so sorry! My life has been pretty busy the last few days and I wanted to make sure I got this chapter right because the time has finally arrived, John Ambrose is here! Enjoy!

_Dear Stormy,_

_As soon as I saw him I wished that you were there for me to talk to. I never really told you everything, but you were the only person I ever talked to about John Ambrose and I just really need you right now._

_Jen and I went out for coffee this morning, just like we’ve done every Thursday morning since we got here a month and a half ago, and we went to a new place today. Recently we’ve been trying a bunch of cafes in the area to try to find a spot we really like and this place seemed pretty popular. As we were standing and waiting for our coffees to be done I saw the back of someone’s head that looked so familiar, but I figured it wasn’t really someone I knew so I just brushed it off. When our names were called there was another person walking up to get their coffee too and I grabbed his drink by accident so I went to hand it to him, and then I looked up and saw him._

_John Ambrose._

_I don’t know why this is such a big deal to me, but it feels like a big deal. I haven’t spoken to him since that night at Belleview and we left things in kind of a weird place. I mean, he kissed me and then I ran away to find his former best friend that I was in love with and dating until six months ago. Even though it was a big deal to me, it seemed like no big deal to him or Gen, they were acting completely normal while I was feeling like my whole world had been flipped sideways. John Ambrose ended up having coffee with us to catch up, apparently he is here at NYU with a major in politics and a minor in law and society and somehow we just haven’t run into each other yet even though it is the end of October._

_Seeing him again brought back so many emotions and feelings that I had just pushed to the side when I got back together with Peter and John Ambrose left my life for the second time. I don’t think I want to date him, at least not now, I can’t go through that again, but I really think I want to try to be friends again. Even after we disconnected the second time I would think of him every once and a while when I saw something that I thought he would like. He was always a good friend to me, and I think Gen really enjoyed catching up with him so I’m sure I’ll be seeing him around no matter what._

_I feel like him coming back into my life again is a sign Stormy, I just don’t know what the universe is trying to tell me with this one. I wish that you were here to help give me guidance, I know that you would have exactly the right thing to say._

_A Little Lost and Missing You,_

_Lara Jean Covey_

*********

As I sign the letter I feel some of the weight I have been feeling lift off my shoulders. Even though she isn’t really here for me to talk to anymore, writing to Stormy definitely relieved some of the anxiety I have been feeling since running into John Ambrose. I know I need to talk to Gen and Lucas about everything though, they don’t even know what happened between us at Belleview because I never told anyone.

*********

“Okay LJ, why did you insist we all get lunch together this week? I mean, it’s great that we actually made a set plan to sit down and spend some time together with just the three of us, but it seems like something is up with you,” Lucas starts as him, Gen, and I sit down at a table at my favorite lunch spot.

“Well, I don’t know if Gen told you, but we bumped into John Ambrose at a coffee shop the other day” I say.

“Oh yeah, I totally forgot to tell you! It was so fun to see him again, wasn’t it LJ?” Gen asks.

“Yeah, it was good to see him, but that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you guys about. I never told you this, but when I was volunteering at Belleview last year with John Ambrose I guess we kind of connected again and when Peter and I broke up for a few days John Ambrose kissed me and I ran away because I was in love with Peter…” I admit, not looking either of them in the eye.

“Wait you and Peter broke up while you were at Belleview?” Gen exclaims.

“Who cares! You kissed John Ambrose?” Lucas begins.

“Oh my god, and then you ran away?” Gen finishes, shocked.

“Yes to all of those questions” I tell them, sipping my coffee to give myself something to do besides look at their wide eyes and slack jaws.

“Did you talk to him after?” Gen asks.

“Well, we talked on Thursday, didn’t we?” I answer her sheepishly.

“Oh my gods! LJ! You didn’t talk to him after you kissed him and ran away until two days ago when you randomly bumped into him?” Lucas prys.

“Ummm, no, not really. I mean, what do you even say after that? I couldn’t talk to him again, I was so embarrassed, but then Thursday happened. He acted like nothing even happened while my head was spinning just seeing him again.”

“Damn LJ, that’s pretty bad” 

“Thanks Gen, that’s so comforting,” I halfheartedly glare at her.

“Well, do you still like him? Or, I guess, did you even like him when you were at Belleview?” Lucas asks more gently than him and Gen had been before.

“I don’t know. He was one of my first crushes, I wrote him a letter too, a long time ago. I can’t really think about Belleview now, I don’t know what I was thinking anymore, everything revolved around Peter.”

Gen and Lucas give me sympathetic looks that I can’t decide if I’m grateful for or hate them for.

“As for now, I’m really not sure. I don’t know if I can even think about being in a relationship right now. I’m finally really past Peter, but now I understand why Margot was always telling me to go to college single. I am loving this time with myself and my friends and I don’t know if I want to bring a relationship into the mix. I think I want to be friends with him though, I just don’t know if we can just be friends anymore.”

“Well, we could see. I can send him a text seeing if he wants to meet up with us when we’re out tonight? Then you can spend some more time with him while us, Julie, and Carrie are all around to give you an excuse to escape or give John other people to focus on.” Gen suggests.

“You know what Gen, that actually sounds like a pretty good idea.” I nod giving her the go ahead to text John Ambrose.

*********

“Lara Jean, you got this, don’t even worry about it. We are all here for you, and if you tell us that you’ve had enough, we’re out.” Julie assures me before we walk into the party.

Her and Carrie had come to Gen’s room earlier to get ready with us and Gen and Lucas had given them the rundown on mine and John Ambrose’s slightly complicated relationship.

Honestly, I am not as worried as I thought I was going to be, I really feel like tonight is going to be fine. Even though seeing him on Thursday through me for a loop, it really didn’t go poorly, and this time I’m mentally prepared.

Walking into the party we try to spot John, but he must not be here yet because none of us can spot him.

*********

“Hey Lara Jean and Gen! It’s good to see you again! And Lucas! It’s been too long, man, how are you?” I hear from behind me, knowing before I even turn around that John Ambrose has finally arrived at the party.

“I’ve been good, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you, I can barely recognize you!” Lucas laughs.

“These must be new friends that I have not had the pleasure of meeting. I’m John Ambrose, it is so nice to meet you. Anyone who is a friend of Lara Jean and Gen is a friend of mine.”

Julie and Carrie introduce themselves to him in return and start asking him about his major and how he likes NYU and honestly, he seems to fit right in pretty quickly and I think I like that.

*********

As the night has progressed my friends have become increasingly less worried about me, which is okay because I’m fine. Gen and Carrie went off together and are probably going crazy on the dancefloor, Lucas disappeared somewhere saying he would be back soon, and Julie had just gone to grab another round of drinks, leaving me with John Ambrose. Alone together for the first time since Belleview.

“So, NYU, huh?” John asks. “I can’t lie, I’m surprised you ended up so far from home. I always figured you would want to stay close to family.”

“That’s what I always thought too, but then I visited here and I fell in love. I miss Kitty and Dad, but I love it here. Plus, with Gen here and Lucas so close I feel a little bit closer to home even though I’m all the way across the country” I admit.

“Well you made a good choice, Gen was saying you’re studying English Lit? I know the program here is crazy good so it sounds like the right place for you.” he nudges my shoulder with his while I blush slightly at the compliment. I can’t help but remember how insanely charming he’s always been.

“Yeah, the program here is great, that was part of what drew me here beyond the general atmosphere of the city. I really thought I was going to end up at Berkeley, but I’m really glad I’m here. How about you? How did you end up in the big apple?”

“This has actually been my dream school for a long time. Ever since I came on a trip to the city with my parents in middle school I knew I wanted to go to school here. I was so excited when I got in, if not a little shocked that they actually accepted me.”

“Of course they accepted you John Ambrose, you’ve always been incredibly smart”

“I guess I was always the brain, especially when we were in school together. That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask, how’s Kavinsky?” he asks like it’s nothing.

“Oh, well I really couldn’t tell you, I haven’t spoken to him since late April. We broke up when I told him I was coming here so…” I trail off.

“I had no idea Lara Jean, I would have never asked. I’m so sorry” he quickly replies.

“It’s okay, how could you have known? Besides, it’s been months now, I’m okay.” I say smiling because it was true, I am okay. And I’m even more okay now that I was here talking to him knowing that before long we would be right back where we used to be, best friends. I could feel it in my bones, we would be okay together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sure LJ, you'll definitely just be "best friends" ;) Anyways, I hoped you liked this chapter and you're happy that John Ambrose has finally made an appearance. Hopefully the next chapter will be up much quicker!


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